I regret to inform you that the alien race, the Pildrons, still insist that they must destroy our planet earth. They refuse to speak any longer with our negotiators or world leaders, and still the only motive that they give us is that we fail to produce any good music. They claim that all of the Earth's music is "Yazig". When asked for a translation of the word "Yazig", one of them replied, "That means it sucks rocks!" We've done all we can do to convince them otherwise. It doesn't help that their own standards of quality are completely unfathomable.

We've played them samples of every music known to man: All great and lesser known composers throughout history, popular and underground music from around the world, from the traditional styles of every country to the most cutting edge experimental. And yes, sir, we took your advice and played them Elton John. I'm afraid it all looks quite hopeless. I'd like to say it's been a pleasure working with you , sir, but actually it's been quite a pain in the ass. By the way, I'm telling everyone I know about you and that goat!